What is a "Faux" Friend?
To me a faux friend is somebody who has a negative impact on you. Wither it be a judgemental attitude or in my experience a controlling one. It is somebody who likes to know what you are up too, but not out of interest but to make sure what you are doing falls into their idea of what you should be doing. A faux friend is somebody who will be abrupt to you at the drop of a hat for example, if you are to busy to meet them when it suits them. My best friend and I can go a month without seeing each other and there is never any animosity. We are both adults and understand that we are both busy. A faux friend is somebody who likes to use you, in my experience to be a drinking buddy. You will find that it is only when you are doing what the that person wants is when they are warm to you. As I change and grow into the person I am becoming I find that my true friends respect that and enjoy it. I found the faux friends resented it. I am not saying that these people are bad people but the way I view it is how the people make me feel. The way they are might work for others, but if these people have a negative impact on me they are not "suited" friends for me. I only want to surround myself with people who make me feel good and support me through the hard times. I know it sounds extreme and I do not ever recommend just ditching people. You have to realise that you can only be a good friend to others if you feel good about yourself. The only way you can feel good about yourself is if you do things you enjoy and surround yourself with people that have a positive impact on you. Be honest to the faux friends tell them it is just not working for you. You will be able to tell a lot from their reaction. If they get angry and nasty you know you made the right choice. Always go with your gut instinct. I had a faux friend who I stopped speaking to twice before I finally cut all ties. If someone came to me and told me they did not want to spend time with me any more as the friendship was having a negative impact on them, I would respect that. People are allowed to grow and change.
What is a Real Friend?
I can honestly say I have only three real friends. Remember guys its quality not quantity. When I was younger I was determined to surround myself with lots of acquaintances. I have learned that true friendship is so much more valuable. A true friend is somebody who most of all makes you feel good about yourself. They are always there when you need them and respect that you also lead you own life too. It is balanced and equal. You care and support them as much as they care and support you. They will support you through the hard times and laugh with you in the good. They will be happy for you during your successes and never ridicule you during your failures. Every time you see them no matter how long its been it will be like you have never been apart. They will share your views on most things and just understand you. With a true friend you will feel that you can always tell the truth no matter how gritty or shameful. You will know they would never judge you. Friendship in your late teens and early twenties comes with a lot of heartache. When you establish who your true friends are though it will feel great. My opinion is drop the bad eggs and keep the true. Do not keep the bad eggs because you are scared you will not have lot of friends. View it as clearing out your closet and making room for fun new things! It is very cheesy but listening to Katy Perry's new song Roar really helped me during this transition. It is all about getting strength and making your own decisions. Never let people push you around and pressure you to do things that do not interest you. Friendship is one of the most important things in life so make sure that it really is a friendship you have with someone.
Remember......Friendship should be FUN!
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